Monday, September 29, 2008

Blame it on California's education system

This should most definitely fall under the category of Don't Ever Share With Anyone. EVER. In Other Words: Never, Never, Never! Or Else They'll Know You're a MORON, Susan. Warning! DO NOT SHARE.

... and yet, here I am. Sharing.

So, a few months ago, I was telling my husband and kids that I'd love to go on a cruise to Alaska someday--that I'd rather cruise than fly. My daughter, then 8, said, "Or how about driving?" I looked at her, chuckled, and said, "Um, sweetie--you can't drive there. You can only travel to Alaska by air or by sea."

That seemed to get everyone's attention. My husband and kids stopped breathing momentarily, and turned abruptly towards me. In unison, they asked, "Why not?"

Wishing I weren't the only OBVIOUS intellect in the family, I said--in my most condescending, all-knowing, superior tone--"Because Alaska is AN ISLAND."

My husband and kids did this: *blink blink blink*

*crickets chirping*

and more *blink blink blink*

I said, "You didn't know that? Haven't you ever looked at a U.S. map? You guys! Alaska is an island, just like the Hawaiian islands." Like, DUH.

My husband asked, "Just where do you think this 'Island of Alaska' is?"

Again, hadn't these people seen a U.S. map? I mean, really... this was almost ridiculous! Hadn't they gone to school??? Would I have to explain everything?

I told him that it wasn't down by Hawaii, but up a ways--closer to the Pacific Northwest. A bitter cold island, all by its lonesome in the middle of the ocean.

I believe there was some hysterical laughter, and clutching of stomachs, that followed. My children then explained to me that Alaska is not actually an island, but instead, connected to Canada. Connected to Canada. Alaska. Not an island. I was having to process this, after, oh, 35+ years of picturing eskimos on their big island, all alone, out in the Pacific Ocean. Alaska was not an island at all. WHO KNEW?

Besides Sarah Palin, my kids and husband knew. And probably 99% of the rest of the world.

See? I told you I shouldn't have shared. You can stop laughing at me any time now. Really. STOP IT.


Suz said...

Well if they made the map to correct scale, then you would know this!!!
Honest mistake. ;)
Really, I am not laughing at you.
A few years ago we were taking the kids to Chicago for a summer vacay, and my oldest thought that Chicago was a state. We thought that was cute. She is still in school, so she should KNOW these things.

Rebeckah said...

I still think you are smart : ) Very funny story. Made my day brighter. I hope your week is going well.

Courtney said...

I think I've heard that story. Pretty damn funny, because it didn't happen to me.

Reminds me of when we went to VA, and there was Redskins stuff everywhere and I asked Jeff why. He said, "Um, because WASHINGTON is so close." I always ASSumed the Washington Redskins were from Washington state. He still won't let me live it down.

I think you've got me beat, though. ;o)