Work Clones

This is about as close to a costume as I'll ever get. I love Halloween but hate dressing up. I think it stems from my younger years when I was so shy that I did anything to avoid drawing attention to myself. Although everyone who knows me, with my big, hearty laugh and voice that (and I quote co-workers here) "echoes up and down the hallway"--well, they'd probably beg to differ. Still, there's just something about putting on a costume that I find completely and utterly embarrassing.

So, there you have it. Not very exciting, I know, but hey--we're government employees. What can you really expect?

An' churish them 'at loves you

I had a very sheltered upbringing. To give an example, I didn't see a PG-rated movie until 1979, at 11, when "The Black Stallion" came out. My parents were careful of what I watched on t.v., what I was exposed to, and how they talked in front of me. Although they did it all out of love, it was a little on the annoying side, frankly.

My wonderful nana, who was born in 1890 and died when I was just 4 years old--well, she was a character. She was my mom's mother, and whom I suspect I got a lot of my quirkiness (with a sprinkling of rotten) from. My mother was an angel, and so was my nana... but she was also a storyteller, with a flair for the dramatic. Poetry was a big trend of her generation and she had memorized much of it. She seemed to have a poem for every occasion. There was nothing I loved more than to climb onto her lap and listen as she recited "Little Orphant Annie"--in her scariest, most melodramatic voice. (Something my mother herself would never think of subjecting me to!) I would just shudder with excitement every time.

LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE

by: James Whitcomb Riley (1849-1916)
INSCRIBED WITH ALL FAITH AND AFFECTION

To all the little children: -- The happy ones; and sad ones;The sober and the silent ones; the boisterous and glad ones;The good ones -- Yes, the good ones, too; and all the lovely bad ones.

LITTLE Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups an' saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an' earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other childern, when the supper-things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn't say his prayers,--
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His Mammy heerd him holler, an' his Daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wuzn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an' cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an' ever'-wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found wuz thist his pants an' roundabout:--
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' wunst, when they was "company," an' ole folks wuz there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp-wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,--
You better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns 'll git you
Ef you
Don't
Watch
Out!

That's for you, Nana. Sometimes I wish it were still 1971 and I could cuddle up in your lap! Although I only had you for a few short years, you will live on inside of me forever... gobble-uns an' all.

---

* OPEN * OPEN * OPEN *

• Oh, Mervyn's, how I have loved you.

• Let me preface this by saying I live in a town of under 30,000 people. Most would say, "That's not a town--it's a city!"... but let me tell you, it's a town. It's got a small town feel because we are isolated to an extreme. Where isolated equals not even a rest stop for 90 miles in any direction. Thousands of us work at the same place (a naval base), most of us know each other or are related in some strange (and, occasionally, not-so-strange) way. A friend of mine used to say, "There aren't many branches on our town's family tree!" which, really, sums it up perfectly. In fact, when I got divorced, I found I had many of the same mutual friends in Marriage #2 that I'd had in Marriage #1. I just had changed spouses.

• Anyway. (ADD who?)

• My point of all of this is that we have exactly three places to buy clothes, in our pathetic little town: K-mart, Wal-mart, and Mervyn's. The last being the most desirable, for obvious reasons. But now? After 18 years of being in business here? Mervyn's is C-L-O-S-I-N-G. The company has filed bankruptcy and they are closing all 149 stores.

• Excuse me.

• *sniff sniff BLOWWWWWWWWWWW sniff sniff*

• There. I'm back.

• Mervyn's and I have grown up together. When I broke off an engagement to my fiance at 20 years old, I celebrated by buying a beautiful blue topaz & diamond ring at Mervyn's. They had just opened, and I'd found a new true love. With THEM. My fiance? Not so much. We'd grown apart. But Mervyn's and I were getting close. I think, soon after, we might've even made it to second base.

• When I fell in love a third time (FOCUS, people, focus! To recap: #1 Fiance; #2 Mervyn's; #3 First Husband), Mervyn's had a big jewelry sale where we could get an engagement ring at 70% off. They were opening the store up early, just for that sale, and would begin passing out numbers to prospective jewelry customers as early as 6:00 a.m. Doug wanted so badly to get the first ticket that he got there before 5:00 a.m. I'm not sure it was worth it, after having to listen to, "I'm #1!" over and over, in the weeks following. But? I'd gotten my ring, bottom line. Mervyn's had been there for me, once again.

• When I had Baby #1 in 1995, Mervyn's gave me an amazing selection of clothes from which to choose. Not only did they have a great selection, but their clearance prices were unfreakingbelievable. I specifically remember paying $.98 for quite a few t-shirts and shorts in Chad's toddler wardrobe--while still in season. They were a lifesaver!

• And, as you can imagine, the story goes on. They have been there through good and bad, thick and thin, sicker and poorer. Mostly poorer (thanks to them). One time, my husband and his friend drove past, and his friend asked, "I wonder what keeps that store open?" My husband answered: "My WIFE."

• And now? Joe & I have a few rough months where he goes on disability with a bad back, and I can't shop as much as usual, and YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS??????!!!!! I'm holding my husband's back personally responsible for their demise.

• I can't believe Mervyn's "OPEN*OPEN*OPEN" commercials will be no more. No more $2-$-4-$6 Clearance Sales, no more Wednesday Super Sales, no more Black Friday sales. No more sponsoring disadvantaged children with their wonderful Child Spree, every August. No more Mervyn's.

• Goodbye, my loving store. Goodbye.

I am using stupid BULLETS because my paragraphs wouldn't quite work without them. Sorry about that!