So The List went something like this--
- A hat
- Sunscreen (applied BEFORE the trip)
- T-shirt with sleeves
- Shorts
- Shoes that tie securely onto the foot
- Sunglasses
- Something old, something new
- Something b0rrowed, something blue
- A backpack that contains:
- Non-perishable food for lunch
- A water bottle that's FULL (really? I am guessing there was a reason they had to specify)
- What's left of your heart, so she can stomp on it during our scheduled break
- Money for the gift shop -- optional
- A nasty look on her face from arguing with you all morning
- A gameboy or MP3 Player -- optional (BUT YOU WILL NOT AS MUCH AS WINCE WHEN THE CHILD SAYS S/HE LOST IT... AND BY THE WAY THE SCHOOL AND TEACHER AND EVEN THE SCHOOL BUS ITSELF IS IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING LOST OR STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT MAKE ME SAY THIS MORE THAN ONCE! YES, WE MEAN YOU, EVIL PARENT!!! NO SOUP FOR YOU!)
And then, of course, there are a million forms to sign, and a million more if you're actually chaperoning, or heavens to Betsy, driving precious children somewhere. (Which, of course, I am... on the next field trip. But we'll get to that one in just a moment.)
I picked her up at the school afterwards and asked how the trip was. "Fun!" That's about all I could get out of her. She did buy me a darling tulip that had been carved out of wood. She also brought home an arrowhead for both herself and her dad, and some kind of marble-like gadget that looked like a cross between a saw blade and a shirt button. That was for her brother. Before giving it to him, I took him aside and asked him to make a big deal out of it, instead of asking what on earth it was. Because none of us knew what it was, and then she would scream something at him about being so spoiled and ungrateful, and he would call her a brat, and she would sob hysterically, and then doors would slam, and I would tearfully tell Joe that I am obviously not cut out to be a mother. So to avoid that ugly scenario, he instead obeyed and made quite a fuss over the saw blade button thing. I'm glad I can teach my kids to be phony like that. It will serve them well later in life.
The field trip I'm going on tomorrow is to a place called Sand Canyon:
Of course, it's during the work week and immediately following Joe's back surgery, so I can't go. The ONE place I've looked forward to going all year long now, and I'm gonna miss out. Instead, all I get to look forward to are the "morning-of" preparations--making Erin's hair all staticky, picking out stupid clothes for her, and basically ruining her life all over again. Hey--don't knock it! It's what I do best!
7 comments:
I just spend a whole day looking at bad plaster dinosaurs in the 100 degree heat. I don't like dirt either...or packed lunches. I don't think our parents had to do this kind of thing :)
Oh, the dreaded field trips. Good for the kids. Torture for the parents. :)
Love all your descriptives. Too funny.
How is Joe doing???? I have been sending good thougts and prayers to the west. I hope he got them!!!
I love San Juan Capistrano--our 4th graders take the train up--the ride is gorgeous.
I loved your list of things to bring!
A tulip carved out of wood. Well, that is just about the best thing ever : ). Totally makes up for all the things you had to do to actually get her on the trip, right?
I laughed out loud at several different spots on your post. You have a way with words! Thanks for the smiles. :)
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