Thursday, February 25, 2010
On Tuesday after school, my son's 14-year-old friend died in a freak dirtbike accident. He was out riding with friends, was very skilled, but went over the handlebars during a jump and was killed instantly.
I can't stop obsessing over this.
Where was his mom when she got the news? At home, I wonder? More than likely, since she is a stay-at-home mom. Where was his dad? Probably at the car dealership they own, working hard as always, with a big ol' smile on his face. Until the phone call.
Where was his 11-year-old sister? At a friend's? At home? Doing homework, or out riding her bike? Thinking it was just another ordinary day... like every other? Taking life for granted, the way we all do?
What did his family do when they got the news? Scream? Collapse to the ground? Drive 70mph to get to the scene? Vomit? Pass out?
How are his friends doing--the two boys he was riding with? My son told me they just cradled him in their laps, trying to revive him. Two teenage boys, there with their friend, completely helpless. Probably pleading with God to take them back just a few seconds in time and not let any of it happen. Are they somehow feeling responsible? Or guilty that they asked him to ride that day?
I keep replaying all of the possible scenarios over again and again in my head... and wondering about the minutes, hours, and days that have since passed. Are his parents, sister, and grandparents sleeping at night, I wonder? Eating? Can they even function? Or are they still in that surreal place, where nothing has truly sunken in yet. Where it's just a flurry of people coming in and out, hugs, tears, phone calls, flowers being sent, home-cooked meals being delivered. Activity like their home has never seen before.
And then what?
Everyone else will go back to the lives they knew, but theirs will be forever changed in a tremendous way. With a big, gaping hole that will never be filled. An emptiness they never fully knew before now. Every parent's worst nightmare.
Will they ever smile again?
I just can't stop thinking, wondering, and hurting for them.
And I can't stop hugging my own children and thanking God for every moment they're alive.