Flexing It

Today begins the weekend for me; my job gives us every other Friday off--what we call Flex Fridays. They're also paydays, too, so.... WOOHOO! It's just good every way you look at it. My husband also gets flexes, so they're our bi-weekly "date" day. We drop off the kids at school and then go out for a leisurely breakfast, do some shopping, browse the antique stores, stop by the Farmer's Market.... and, before you know it, it's 2:00--time to pick up the kids!

The downside of Flex weekends is that you:

1. Overschedule yourself, because you think you have all this time off (and most everyone I am friends with also has them -- so we all pack our weekends full)
2. Don't appreciate the two-day weekends nearly as much as you should

Here's a rundown of what I've got planned for this weekend, besides the usual date day with hubby tomorrow...

Friday Night

I'm going to a Scentsy party. Ever heard of it? You buy these darling (overpriced) ceramic scent burners, and then the bricks to melt in them. They smell DELICIOUS!



Saturday morning

A car wash fundraiser for cheerleading from 10am - 2pm, with my daughter & her screaming friends. Oh, and we literally get approximately 4 days or less of rain per year, but guess what?! On Saturday? Forecast: Showers. Of course!



Saturday Night

My friend Nicole is coming over for dinner and to watch Sex and the City with me. We have to lock our kids in their rooms so they don't come out and stumble upon any of the graphic scenes.



After that, she and I will do this (at 10:00 p.m.)...

We're walking with friends on a team for our dear friend, Cathy Spindler, who lost her battle with breast cancer earlier this year. She was 40 years old. I am also personally walking for those in my life who've had cancer: My Uncle Steve (colon), my Uncle Jack (lung), my dad (lung), and my mom (breast & lung). My mom survived hers (but later died from other illnesses), but my uncles and dad did not. I will walk for all of them Saturday night.




Sunday Afternoon

My daughter & I will be going to the park to help her friend, Kalli, celebrate her 9th birthday.




And in between all of that, I will do....

...many, many loads, AS ALWAYS!


And....


more housework...although I will more likely be wearing stretched out yoga pants, a tank top with bleach on it, no makeup, and absolutely no darling little kerchief in my hair! Hard to believe, I know!



....and later, if I'm lucky, maybe a little bit of this...

...except my sheets are icky blue & white striped ones from Wal-Mart, not a pile of HEAVENLY CLOUDS!





Okay. I'm tired now from thinking about all of my plans. Can I go back to work?

Nah, nevermind. Scratch that.

Conversations that make you go HMMM....

My daughter adores animals--to an obsessive point. I've never seen anything like it, really. So, I recently suggested that she someday consider becoming a veterinarian.

Erin: No, I don't think I could do that.

Me: Why not?

Erin: You know--because of the beeps.

Me: The beeps?

Erin: You know: Beep-beep-beep-beep-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

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Blame it on California's education system

This should most definitely fall under the category of Don't Ever Share With Anyone. EVER. In Other Words: Never, Never, Never! Or Else They'll Know You're a MORON, Susan. Warning! DO NOT SHARE.

... and yet, here I am. Sharing.

So, a few months ago, I was telling my husband and kids that I'd love to go on a cruise to Alaska someday--that I'd rather cruise than fly. My daughter, then 8, said, "Or how about driving?" I looked at her, chuckled, and said, "Um, sweetie--you can't drive there. You can only travel to Alaska by air or by sea."

That seemed to get everyone's attention. My husband and kids stopped breathing momentarily, and turned abruptly towards me. In unison, they asked, "Why not?"

Wishing I weren't the only OBVIOUS intellect in the family, I said--in my most condescending, all-knowing, superior tone--"Because Alaska is AN ISLAND."

My husband and kids did this: *blink blink blink*

*crickets chirping*

and more *blink blink blink*

I said, "You didn't know that? Haven't you ever looked at a U.S. map? You guys! Alaska is an island, just like the Hawaiian islands." Like, DUH.

My husband asked, "Just where do you think this 'Island of Alaska' is?"

Again, hadn't these people seen a U.S. map? I mean, really... this was almost ridiculous! Hadn't they gone to school??? Would I have to explain everything?

I told him that it wasn't down by Hawaii, but up a ways--closer to the Pacific Northwest. A bitter cold island, all by its lonesome in the middle of the ocean.

I believe there was some hysterical laughter, and clutching of stomachs, that followed. My children then explained to me that Alaska is not actually an island, but instead, connected to Canada. Connected to Canada. Alaska. Not an island. I was having to process this, after, oh, 35+ years of picturing eskimos on their big island, all alone, out in the Pacific Ocean. Alaska was not an island at all. WHO KNEW?

Besides Sarah Palin, my kids and husband knew. And probably 99% of the rest of the world.

See? I told you I shouldn't have shared. You can stop laughing at me any time now. Really. STOP IT.

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